i hate americans and their stupid fahrenheit temperatures
i only made this post in the hopes that someone would reblog it with the caption “don’t fahrenhate” and you’ve all disappointed me greatly
don’t be a celsiass
its too fahrenlate
This is fahrengreat
Ok this may be an example of preemptive revenge, but considering how it happened I’m still pretty sure I was entirely in the right. not sure how petty it was. But anyways…
In elementary school I wasn’t the most popular kid, I was into books, had big glasses, into video games, got very grades, classic nerd. I had friends sure, but I did tend to be the butt of the classic “nerdy-kid” jokes.
One day in class we were doing some sort of busy work and I was seated across from one of the girls (let’s call her BitchJ) who always loved to make fun of me and give me crap. The girl for some reason was stamping her feet up and down on the floor like a crazy person (not just the nervous knee thing that most people get from time to time, full on lifting and dropping them fuckers).
The massive shockwaves from her dinosaur stomping ending up knocking her glasses off the desk and somewhere right beneath her feet. Being the good guy that I was, I immediately yelled out “BitchJ, STOP, WATCH YOUR FEET!”. She stops her foot, a few inches from her glasses, then looks at me and just asks, “Why?”.
Now I could have told her that she was about to ruin her glasses, but for some reason I didn’t. I happened to not be wearing my own glasses at the time, and on a lark I told her, “You’re about to step on my glasses”.
The bitch got the biggest grin on her face, lifted her foot back up and smashed it back down onto her own glasses. BitchJ heard them crack and bent down to pick the glasses up, still grinning at me without breaking her gaze. When she lifted the glasses up and looked at them, and realized they were her own, she started crying, loudly. Ran to the teacher.
It was wonderful.
These are great! These are all really useful methods of defending yourself and I actually learned most of these in my Krav Maga classes.
I would have to go up against people (usually guys) twice my size and could easily overpower me, but these tricks DO work and they don’t require a lot of strength.
Reblog to save a life
i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me
I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.
At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee
a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and whispered “count olaf”
once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”
A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.
Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.
Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
radical-illusion